Relationships are at the heart of our lives, shaping who we are and how we experience our world. In this episode of A Bit of Grace, I talk about relationships— the good, the bad, and the ugly —especially those with family and close friends.
Sometimes we can feel on top of the world with a certain loving relationship. It can support us and guide us and all those good things. But over the years, many relationships that we think or thought we could really rely on, can change in the blink of an eye. You feel cut down, put down by surprise.
Family: Strong Bonds and Deep Wounds
I think some of the most challenging relationships are family relationships and relatives. The family you grew up with, the family you have, your own children, in-laws, it goes on and on. You know those people you just can relate to really easily, you can talk to them and feel comfortable? Those are wonderful. We have to treasure those. It’s the ones that we can’t trust that sometimes have to end, whether permanently or for a while, for our own safety and security. It’s not okay to let people harshly diminish you or reject you or put you down. It’s not okay to feel worthless around someone. It’s not okay to feel doubt and fear about a relationship. The best relationships allow each person to speak freely, not to harm others, but to speak freely and honestly.
The Challenge of Speaking Truth
That’s always been a real challenge for me throughout my life, even since childhood, because I’m so empathic. I pick up so much information right away just being around people. Their emotions and their feelings so quickly come at me that I can’t deny or lie. Well, I can’t lie anyway, I suck at lying. That’s always been a real big challenge for me in relationships. Where people, many people, do not want to hear the truth about themselves or others or the situation they’re in. They want someone who’s going to prop up their delusion or their beliefs that everything’s fine, we don’t want to hear about this. That’s been the challenge in my life to speak the truth and often be rejected by clients, family, friends, you name it. Until they were ready to hear it. Often, especially with clients, they come back later saying, “You were right about that, but I just wasn’t ready to listen.” It still hurts.
It still stings when people are cruel or say things to me that are harmful. The good news is, as we get older, you become or you can become less injured by other people’s actions and words. Even with people you’ve been friends or family with for years and years. When they reject or betray or disrespect you again and again.
Believing in Yourself and Saying Enough
It’s possible to reach a level where you believe in yourself first, and you say enough to letting others chop you down. As that expression goes, cut you off at the knees. When you reach that enough point, there’s big potential for calmly answering back to those harmful, disrespectful, cruel statements thrown at you, in a calm fashion. Just deciding okay, if you don’t want to hear what I’m saying, then maybe it’s best just not to talk.
Accepting What We Cannot Change
It’s taken me a long time to get that message. Even though I’m trying to help people and always, always being pushed to help and care for people. I’m getting older and finally getting it that some people would rather stay in their little bubble. Happily there, no matter what harmful stuff is going on or whatever, than to hear someone say the truth. I’ve accepted that.
It’s not easy when you can see things, know things and hear things— oh my goodness— and feel things, it’s a tough one. For me pulling back to a safe distance is often the best answer to stay safe from other people’s attacks when I call out what the situation is and try to offer a solution. It’s best for me to just be quiet, taken a long time.
Moving Forward With Grace
I hope this has helped you in some way if you’re dealing with relationships that aren’t as awesome as they used to be. Or to go with caution on new relationships so you don’t get burned. Take it as I give it. It’s just wisdom I’ve learned over the years.
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The information provided on this blog is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Always consult with a professional for medical advice.
Julia Grace McCammon is a natural-born healer dedicated to finding solutions and enhancing lives. She has demonstrated her gift to harness and transmit intelligent Life Force energy globally. Julia’s healing ability has been documented in cell-based and mouse model preclinical research published in international, peer-reviewed science journals. Whether it’s physical, emotional or spiritual well-being, Julia is devoted to healing and supporting others to achieve results.